Today, Pete and I ran the paved trails at Battle Creek. The first 2 miles of which are a fairly steady uphill climb which, under normal conditions, isn't too tough. Today, however, we rarely dropped our soles onto asphalt as the path was covered in slush covered ice with pools of water to spice up the mix. Pete did great given the conditions, me...not so much.
The major accomplishment for me today was not getting off the couch and running 5 miles (I had to do a few walking breaks on the hills of ice and slush), rather it was the fact that I did not get down on myself for my lack of discipline over the past 2 years. Yes, this lack of discipline has led me from the best shape of my life to my worst, but I have gotten to a point where I, on good days, am open to the fact that it has been a pretty tough 2 years. I am also starting to be able to allow myself to not only be OK with my recent past's lack of Right Effort, but also to see this moment as a birth into a positive space where I have the opportunity to be open to allowance of Joy; something I have been becoming more aware that I rarely allow myself.
The burning lungs and legs have subsided. The muscle fibers are pulling in protein to rebuild and fix the damage done during the run. My endorphins are working through their rewarding neuropathways to open a clearer, happier head space. Little by little, the miles, time, scenery and experiences I am re-opening myself to this year are all wholesome efforts with immeasurable benefits. No short cuts, no easy way, only effort. And when my head space is open, loving and non-judgemental, I experience these moments in truly Right Effort.